Hello lovely reader! Another Monday, another start to the week. I hope you have a good one, my Monday has started out quite well actually. I'm feeling autumnal, loving my lipstick, and the shuttle played some good throwback tunes this morning as well as "Here". I wanted to share a post that I saw last week on the blog "cupcakes and cashmere". I really connected with it and can definitely relate, and I am sure many of you will be able to, whether you are around this age or past it and looking back. I am going to turn 20 this year, so I too am discovering many of these points to be true. I will link the original post below, as I am a only including the parts I connected to the most, but you should read the post in it's entirety!
2. Your taste will change a lot over your 20s. So buy quality classics over quantity.
There are some trendier items that I remember lusting after as though my life depended on it. Looking back, I can hardly fathom that I’m the same person who once liked that item, so I’m grateful for every instance in which I didn’t purchase said item. Experimenting with self-expression and trying different trends to see what you like is important for honing your personal style, but try to remember that your taste is going to change a lot in your twenties. Forget clothing hauls, and instead save for select pieces that won’t go out of style. A decade later, you’ll be happier to have a few classic workhorses (such as great black pumps and a versatile trench coat), than a rotating closet full of items you can’t believe you liked at one point. This applies to both fashion and home.
4. Learning to make 2-3 basic dishes will save you a lot of money.
When you have a few simple dinners mastered, you won’t be nearly as tempted to spend three times as much money on ordering Seamless and going out to restaurants out of hangry desperation.
5. Don’t let FOMO dictate your happiness.
Life is a marathon and there will always be another party, event, concert, and night out. We all experience FOMO, but when you listen to what your body and instincts are telling you (for example, you’re too tired to go out), you end up much happier. People also respect you more when you don’t live your life based on a fear of missing out, and can confidently say no to an invite knowing that your friends will still like you if you stay in with Netflix—because they will.
6. Girlfriend dates are as important as boyfriend dates.
When people are courting each other they go on dates that have itineraries—dinner, movies, ice cream; wine tasting followed by picnic in the park. One of the most important things I learned about my adult relationships is how much a friendship can benefit from similar sorts of dates. From a young age, girls start doing things like getting manicures and pedicures and shopping together (which are always fun times). But in addition to the usual suspects, you can suggest grabbing coffee and going to the new museum that just opened up; meeting for a hike followed by mimosas; or picking out new books at the bookstore and taking a walk through a gorgeous neighborhood to discuss your favorite houses. You’ll learn new things about your friend and it makes for great traditions and memories.
7. Don’t buy “cheap”—or uncomfortable—shoes, no matter how cute they are.
I’m not saying not to look for sales, but don’t do yourself the disservice of wearing poorly-made shoes. Quality footwear will not only provide more support which is better for your back and body long-term, but you can repair and resole shoes to extend their life so they last for years. There’s also nothing cute about a girl hobbling around in painful shoes like a baby deer.
8. Cherish the lulls in your life—and create them, too.
Big or small, I’ve learned how important the lulls in life are. I’m the kind of person who can easily feel anxious if I’m not getting something done at all times. But it’s really those periods of repose that fuel my greatest productivity. There are going to be chapters in your life where you’re the busiest you’ve ever been, and there are going to be quieter times that might seem scary at first, but will eventually be what you look back on and wish you’d savored more. Regardless of what’s going on, take at least ten minutes out of your day to do nothing. Meditate, go for a walk, stare at some clouds. Give your mind a moment to process nothing.
9. Don’t subscribe to age “milestones.”
Everyone follows a unique timeline, so don’t get caught up in achieving certain goals based on an arbitrary age. The less you worry about when something will happen, it’s likely you’ll learn more from the process of making it happen when it’s right for you. People are going to get engaged, earn promotions, buy houses, have kids, and sometimes these things will happen before you; other times you’ll be the first in your group to do something. So just do you, and be you, because there’s no “right” time to do something except when it feels right to you.
11. Practicing truly active listening will serve all of your relationships.
Listening is a skill that should be practiced. Most people equate the physical act of sitting silently while someone talks listening, but they aren’t the same. It’s an amazing feeling to truly be heard by someone, and it’s easy to know when someone is paying attention and really taking in what you’re saying. To give someone the gift of listening engenders trust, appreciation, and will help to deepen relationships. Plus, you’ll likely be listened to in return.
16. Remember that uncomfortable feelings are temporary.
When I first moved to L.A., I didn’t know anyone and felt a bit adrift and out of my element. A very new friend invited me to another friend’s birthday party, and even though it was great to be included, I ended up feeling really sad afterwards. A wise mentor reminded me that what I was feeling was temporary with a capital T. It’s difficult to move to a new place, start a new job, make new friends, etc. It involves growing pains. But feeling out of sorts due to these circumstances is normal, and will pass. It took me a few months to feel like I belonged, but sure enough, when things started to click and I felt more comfortable in my new city and life, I looked back on that memory and realized just how true it was that those feelings had been temporary.
17. You teach others how you want to be treated through your actions.
Similar to the boundary lesson, you have to teach others how to respect and treat you by leading by example. Whether in your career, friendships, or romantic relationships, you can’t expect someone to treat you any differently than how your own actions indicate you want to be treated. Remember that actions do speak louder than words when it comes to how others interact with you, so set the bar high and others will follow suit.
Pay attention to what brings you joy, and spend your money there.
We all have things that bring us genuine joy. For some, it’s getting the newest technology the day it comes out. For others, it’s a blowout once a week, doing hot yoga at a beautiful, well-lit studio, or picking up a fresh lipstick color on the regular. When you do something that leaves you buoyant afterwards, with a lasting feeling of happiness and value added to your life—pay attention to what it is, because your money is best spent there. Life is about choices, from the big to the small. If you could care less about what kind of car you drive, but love trying new restaurants as often as possible, then drive an old car that doesn’t cost much and bask in your restaurant budget. Tune out the noise and pay attention to your preferences. It’s your life, your happiness, and your money—so spend it based on what brings value to you, not what others place value on.
So what do you think? Any of these stick out to you? Anything you would add? Xx
